What Does Looking After Yourself Actually Look Like in Your 40s?

I turned 40 last year, and I can't say I woke up the next morning with a completely different attitude towards my health. There was no dramatic right, I'm 40 now, better sort myself out moment 😂

But somewhere along the way, I have noticed a shift.

I'm thinking about my health differently than I did when I was younger. I'm less interested in what I can change quickly and much more interested in what I can do now that Future Clare might thank me for. And I don't mean suddenly living the world's healthiest life.

I'm still going to have the meal out. I'm still going to enjoy a glass of something. There will be days when I barely move away from my laptop and others when dinner is based entirely on what requires the least effort. That's real life.

But I am paying more attention to how I'm feeling, what I'm doing regularly and what my body might need from me as I get older. Perhaps that's what looking after yourself in your 40s actually starts with.

It's less about how you look and more about how you feel

For years, health and weight can become almost interchangeable. You want to “get healthy”, so you think about losing weight. You want to feel better, so the first place you look for evidence of progress is the scales.

I've done plenty of that myself. I lost around three and a half stone a few years ago, and I'm proud of that. I'd still like to lose a little now too, but these days that's only one part of a much bigger picture.

I care about having energy. I want to feel strong and capable. I want to be able to get up and go somewhere without thinking twice about whether my body can manage it. I want to sleep well, recover properly, feel comfortable in my clothes and generally feel good in myself.

The number on the scales can give me some information, but it can't tell me all of that.

And I think that's one of the biggest changes for me. I'm not looking for one number that proves I'm doing well anymore. I'm looking at the whole picture.

Strength, movement and what my body can actually do

When I was younger, exercise was much more likely to be connected to calories or weight loss. Now I'm increasingly interested in being strong.

Not lifting a car above my head strong 😂 Just properly, usefully strong. Strong enough to carry things, keep doing the things I enjoy and support my body as I get older.

I'm still figuring this bit out. I've been running, I'm thinking more about strength work, and I'm trying different ways of moving to discover what I enjoy enough to actually continue doing. I'm also learning that I don't need to be brilliant at something for it to be doing me good.

A walk counts. Ten minutes counts. The slow run counts. Moving around during the day counts. It doesn't always have to be a workout worthy of posting online.

I'm much more interested in building a life where movement is normal than repeatedly starting exercise plans that I don't particularly enjoy.

I'm thinking differently about food too

Food used to be very easy to reduce to calories. How many have I eaten? How many have I got left? Can I fit this in?

I do still track calories and macros because I find that information useful, but I'm asking different questions alongside them now. Am I getting enough protein? Am I eating foods that actually keep me going? Have I had some fruit and vegetables today? Am I drinking enough? Does what I'm eating support what I'm asking my body to do?

That doesn't mean every meal needs to be nutritionally perfect. Sometimes the food I choose is because it's nutritious, sometimes it's because it's convenient, and sometimes it's because I really fancy it.

All three are allowed to exist in the same life.

I don't want to reach a point where “being healthy” means I can't go for dinner, have a piece of cake or enjoy a glass of fizz without mentally calculating how I'm going to compensate for it afterwards. Looking after myself has to include enjoying my life too.

Rest, recovery and actually stopping occasionally

This might be one of the harder ones.

We're very good at treating rest as the reward for finishing everything else. I'll sit down when I've finished this. I'll have an early night when I've caught up. I'll take some time for myself when everything else is sorted.

Except everything else is never completely sorted, is it?

There will always be another email, another job, another bit of housework and another thing you could be doing. I'm getting better at recognising that rest is part of looking after myself rather than something I earn by being productive enough first.

Sometimes looking after myself isn't doing another healthy thing. It's closing the laptop. Sitting down with a coffee and actually drinking it rather than drinking it while answering messages. Having the quieter day. Going to bed.

Wellness doesn't always need another thing added to the list. Sometimes it needs something taken off it.

Paying attention without obsessing

I don't think looking after yourself means becoming hyper-focused on every tiny thing your body does, but I do think there's something to be said for knowing what's normal for you and noticing when something doesn't feel quite right.

That might be your energy, sleep, mood, digestion, strength, appetite or simply that vague feeling that you haven't quite felt yourself lately.

For me, being in my 40s has made me more conscious of staying aware rather than ignoring things indefinitely and hoping they'll sort themselves out. It's not about worrying about everything. It's about paying attention and being willing to do something when something needs attention.

The same applies to everyday habits. If I've barely moved for a week, my sleep has gone completely off track or I've stopped eating particularly well, I don't need to beat myself up about it. But noticing gives me the opportunity to make a small adjustment before a temporary wobble quietly becomes my new normal.

Looking after yourself includes your head too

Wellness isn't just what happens in the kitchen or how many steps you've done. It's also the conversations you have with yourself, whether you allow yourself to say no, recognising when something is draining you and having people around you who make life feel better rather than harder.

It's doing things you enjoy simply because you enjoy them. And sometimes it's doing something that scares you a little because there's a part of you that really wants to try.

I think I've become much more aware of this side of wellness over the last few years. You can eat brilliantly and exercise regularly, but if the rest of your life is making you miserable, there's probably still something worth looking at.

Confidence, boundaries, connection, fun, purpose and having some time that actually feels like yours all belong in the conversation too.

There isn't a perfect 40+ wellness routine

This is probably one of the biggest things I want #HealthyVibes to stand for.

I don't have a morning routine you need to copy. I'm not going to tell you that everyone over 40 needs to eat exactly the same things, exercise in exactly the same way or follow a list of twenty daily habits.

We're not all living the same life.

What works for me might not work for you, and what works for either of us now might need changing six months from now.

I'd much rather we occasionally stop and ask ourselves some much simpler questions. How am I, really? How's my energy? How am I sleeping? How does my body feel? Am I moving? Am I eating in a way that generally makes me feel good? When did I last do something purely because I wanted to? Is there anything I've been putting off dealing with?

Those answers are probably much more useful than trying to achieve somebody else's idea of perfect wellness.

Small things still count

I think this is where I've landed at 40.

Looking after myself isn't one massive decision. It's hundreds of little ones made while normal life is happening.

It's going for the walk even if it's shorter than planned. It's making a decent meal when I can and choosing the convenient option when I need to. It's drinking the water, going to bed, taking the break, booking the appointment, getting outside, trying the new thing or putting the laptop down and actually drinking the coffee while it's still hot.

None of those things will transform your life overnight, and that's not really the point. They're the background of how we live. When enough of those little choices start becoming normal, they add up to something much bigger.

That's the kind of wellness I'm interested in now. Not trying to become a completely different person, but looking after the person I already am a little better.

Maybe it's time for your own check-in

This whole idea is actually why I created The 40+ Wellness Check-In.

Not because I've got all the answers — I very definitely haven't. I created it because sometimes we spend so much time getting on with life that we don't stop long enough to ask ourselves how we're actually doing.

It's a free, simple way to pause and look at four areas of your life: nourishing your body, moving your body, rest and recharge, and making time for you. There are no scores, no judgement and no enormous list of things you suddenly need to fix.

It's simply a chance to check in with yourself and perhaps notice one or two things you'd like to give a little more attention to.

[Download the free 40+ Wellness Check-In]

A final thought

I don't think turning 40 means suddenly needing to overhaul yourself. If anything, I'm finding it's making me want the opposite.

I want less pressure to do everything perfectly and more awareness of what actually matters. I want strength, energy and experiences. I want to look after Future Me while still letting Present Me enjoy her life.

I'm still figuring out what that looks like, and I suspect I will be for quite a while.

But perhaps looking after ourselves isn't something we're ever supposed to completely figure out.

Maybe we're just supposed to keep checking in 💚